4 words: hood of his car
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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