I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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