Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
