I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
