I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I FOUND THE LEGS
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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