don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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