So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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