I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
