If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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