just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
