I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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