you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
