I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
