My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
