I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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