Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
