Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
