It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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