you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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