Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize