I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That accounts for only three of the penises
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
