whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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