i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
someone get that fucking seahorse.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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