She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
