but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
