i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
a search helicopter?!
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
