just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
