i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
