I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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