How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
3pm strippers are depressing
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
