Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
