My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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