She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
