walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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