Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
