There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
