you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
