Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
