I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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