My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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