This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
