No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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