Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
