I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
