You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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