WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
