How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
