there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
