No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We're too hungover to prance.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
