that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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