just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
