i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
